15 ways to prove you live in 2007

| |

 

 

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit.

.......................................................................................................................



Woman seeks help. Advice is given

| |

 

 

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit.

........................................................................................................................



Don't mind me.. just looking for a can opener

| | |
В 

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................



Blonde's Stolen Car

| |
В 
В 
В 


Gold digger wonders what she is doing wrong, rich man explains....

| | |
В 
В 

What a classic answer…..

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

 

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................



Bug Knits

| | |
В 
В 

Althea Merback's Bug Knit, itsy bitsy creations are almost too tiny to believe. At 1/12th of the scale, her range of socks, gloves and sweaters are as small as a penny.

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................



Welcome to Africa, we wish you a safe onward journey!

| | |
В 

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................



Why you don't tell a retarded child they can be anything they want when they grow up

| |

 

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................



Airline exec accidentally erases company data while cleaning porn off his computer

| | |

 

 

Mesa Air Group, the parent of go! airlines, said its CFO Peter Murnane accidentally erased data related to an upcoming court case while trying to cover up his porn habit.

Hawaiian Airlines is suing Mesa Air Group for allegedly using confidential Hawaiian Airlines business information to launch go! airlines last year. Murnane, according to Mesa, has a long-standing habit of cruising porn sites, and he was trying to erase that information when he accidentally deleted hundreds of pages of computer records that allegedly would have shown that Mesa misappropriated the Hawaiian Airlines information.

In its defense Mesa presented evidence that Murnane had a long standing interest in porn; a Mesa executive testified Wednesday that he once saw Murnane looking at pornography on his work computer.

Mesa also stated that they have copies of the deleted files, so no harm was done.

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................



A skirt all men desire

| | |
В 

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the logos below to add it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg or Reddit to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................



Unsafe Sex

| | |
В 
В 

If you enjoyed this post please use the StumbleUpon link below (or toolbar) as well as Delicious and the other links to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................В 

В 



Dutch driving test - would you fail?

|
В 

 

If you enjoyed this post please use the StumbleUpon link below (or toolbar) as well as Delicious and the other links to help us spread the word.

........................................................................................................................



You Said Sit!

| | |
В 
В 
В 


Would you like your child burger with or without chips?

|
В 
В 

We were emailed this photo from a user who was offered a child burger. Needless to say she added chips.

......................................................................................................................



How very innocent!

| | |
В 
В 


Syndicate content